


Bad With Babies

by shooponthemoon



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Alternate Universe - Babies, Babies, Comfort, Crack, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, M/M, Weirdness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-19
Updated: 2016-02-19
Packaged: 2018-05-21 13:54:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6054064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shooponthemoon/pseuds/shooponthemoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Through some mysterious, inexplicable event, Kagami gets turned into a baby right before Aomine's eyes.<br/>And Aomine does <i>not</i> know how to handle a baby. <i>At all.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Bad With Babies

**Author's Note:**

> haaaaaahahha this is basically a crack fic, don't ask I just thought it'd be hilarious XD
> 
> kinda a bit long but I'll still consider it as part of my short fic challenge because that's what I tried for, anyways

Aomine was happy to arrive home after a long day of work, stepping out of his shoes as he entered their apartment before stretching out his arms and back like a cat. He grinned at Kagami, who was in the kitchen as usual and wearing his favourite—well, Aomine’s favourite—blue apron.

“Whatcha making, Taiga?” Aomine asked with a hum, snuggling up to Kagami’s back and settling his arms around his waist.

“Teriyaki burgers, just for you,” Kagami replied, and Aomine sighed happily.

“My favourite,” Aomine purred, nuzzling his face deeper into the crook of Kagami’s neck.

“Ow!” the redhead suddenly gasped, clutching at his hand in pain.

“What happened?” Aomine asked, looking up, but as he did so, something weird started happening to Kagami.

The redhead began to slip out of Aomine’s grasp, and it took a few horrified moments for Aomine to realize that he was shrinking.

“Holy shit! What the fuck! Taiga!” Aomine shrieked, tightening his grasp on Kagami’s clothes only for him to slip right out of them.

“Taiga! Oh my god, Taiga!” Aomine yelled, hiccupping sobs punctuating his breaths as he fell to his knees on the ground, desperately digging through the pile of clothes to uncover a small, wriggling creature with big red eyes and bright red hair and… Kagami’s eyebrows?

“Holy fuck. Taiga turned into a baby,” Aomine said, unable to believe what he was seeing.

If he was being honest with himself though, baby Kagami was… _fucking_ _adorable_. Aomine found himself unable to help a huge grin from lighting up his face, and he poked the baby’s chubby belly to confirm that he was _real_ , that this was _actually happening_.

But as he wiggled his fingers in baby Kagami’s face, hoping to make him smile, he quickly received the opposite reaction: Kagami’s nose scrunched up as fat wet tears swelled in his eyes, his mouth opening to let out the loudest, most piercing wail Aomine had ever heard.

“Fuck fuck fuck!” Aomine gasped as he quickly tried to pick up the crying child, the baby’s wails suddenly that much louder as it screamed right next to Aomine’s ear.

“FUCK FUCK FUCK!” he hissed loudly, wary of yelling and provoking the child further. He bounced up and down on the spot, hoping the motion would calm it or something, but the hell did he know about babies?

In his moment of inattention the baby suddenly slipped, and he scrambled to fix his hold as little Kagami’s head tipped back, the rest of his body threatening to follow. Aomine was suddenly pitched forwards, his legs coming out from him as if the ground had disappeared, and he was falling, falling, falling…

Aomine woke up from his nap, gasping and covered in a cold sweat.

_A dream, it was… just a horrible, fucking nightmare_ , Aomine thought, closing his eyes, and scrubbing his face with his hands.

_Or was it?_

Panic blooming in his chest, Aomine scrambled out of bed and ran out of the bedroom, nearly crashing into walls in his haste to find Kagami.

When he finally located the redhead in the living room, playing cards with Kuroko, tears began to involuntarily fall from his eyes as he confirmed that his boyfriend was indeed unharmed and un-baby-ified.

“Taiga!” Aomine blubbered through his tears, surprising the redhead, who dropped his cards as Aomine launched himself into his lap, burying his face into Kagami’s shirt.

“What’s wrong, babe?” Kagami asked softly, wrapping Aomine in a soothing, warm hug.

“I-I had a nightmare,” he mumbled, “that you got turned into a b-baby, and you wouldn’t s-stop crying, and and then I dropped you and we were both falling and then I woke up.” A fresh wave of tears started as Kagami tried to sort through his confusion.

“I was a… baby?”

“Yes! You shrunk into a baby! Right in front of me!” Aomine wailed. “It even had your stupid eyebrows!”

At that, Kuroko could no longer contain his amusement and let out a snort of laughter.

“THIS ISN’T FUNNY, TETSU!” Aomine shouted, peeling himself away from Kagami’s shirt and leaving a trail of snot in his wake. “I DON’T KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF BABIES! I COULD HAVE KILLED HIM! OH GOD!” he exclaimed, burying his face once again into Kagami’s shirt.

“Kuroko, you really aren’t helping,” Kagami sighed, giving his giggling friend a stern look.

“I’m sorry, _pffft_ , I’m sorry, _hahaha_ , I’ll leave, Kagami-kun,” said Kuroko, gathering his things as he headed to the door, still giggling.

“Ok thanks, I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said with a lazy wave before turning his attention back to his sobbing boyfriend.

“Hey, hey, Daiki, it’s ok, I’m ok,” he said softly, rubbing soothing circles into Aomine’s back. “Look, I’m still me, not a baby, yeah?” Aomine’s arms tightened around him. “Ok let’s just get you back to bed, how does that sound?”

“Only if you stay with me,” Aomine mumbled.

“I will, I promise.”

It took time and quite a lot of effort for Kagami to navigate Aomine all the way back to the bedroom and into bed, but once there he gladly cradled Aomine to his chest after the blue-haired man refused to be the big spoon for some reason—said it would bring up bad memories—and Kagami gently pet Aomine’s hair until his breathing evened out and his trembling sobs ceased.

And just when he though Aomine had fallen asleep, Kagami heard him murmur something that made him break into a fond smile and plant a warm kiss to his boyfriend’s head:

“ _I can’t marry Kagami if he’s a baby. Stupid Tetsu._ ”

**Author's Note:**

> I forget where it's from but I was very inspired by that one quote about someone being like "when I was xx age, they were a baby. I don't know how to take care of babies, oh god, I could have killed them" or something like that lol
> 
> and yeah, Tetsu, you're really not helping. but I thought it'd be really cute to imagine Kuroko laughing like that haha
> 
> [ **my tumblr** ](http://shooponthemoon.tumblr.com/)


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